Anne Boleyn game

It is January 1533 and you are the new Queen of England, Anne Boleyn. <img src="780px-Anne_boleyn.jpg" height="360"> King Henry VIII divorced his first wife, Catherine of Aragon, so that he could marry you. At least part of his motivation was that Catherine had failed to produce a male heir (her one living child is a daughter, Mary). Henry desperately wants a son, and you are under enormous pressure to produce one (or more) within a few years. If you can’t do this, there is a high probability that Henry will divorce you, or worse. You need [[advice]].

You want to ask people who have some expertise in reproduction to tell you the best ways to conceive a male child. (If: $Matthews != 1)[You can consult the physician [[Roger Matthews]].] (If: $Thomas != 1)[You can consult the midwife [[Jane Thomas]].] (If: $AristocraticLadies !=1)[You can consult various [[aristocratic ladies]] at your court who have experience with pregnancy and childbirth.]

Dr. Roger Matthews is the son and grandson of physicians who served the royal family. <img src="487px-Hans_Holbein_the_Younger_-_The_Ambassadors_-_Google_Art_Project.jpg" height="360"> He himself has been King Henry's personal physician for the past ten years. He is a graduate of Oxford University, and he spent several years studying medicine at the University of Padua in Italy. Padua is the best university in Europe for the study of medicine. Its curriculum includes the study of great medical authors like Avicenna, Hippocrates and Galen. Dr. Matthews reads Greek as well as Latin, and has read both Hippocrates and Galen in their original languages. Anatomical dissections take place regularly at Padua, and Dr. Matthews attended many of these demonstrations. He gained clinical training by shadowing one of his professors while that professor visited private patients. Finally, Dr. Matthews is trained in medical astrology, and understands how the motions of the planets affect human health, including the conception of children. You ask Dr. Matthews what you can do to improve your chances of [[conceiving a male heir]]. (set: $Matthews = 1)

Mrs. Jane Thomas is 65 years old and has delivered hundreds of babies, including you and your sister. Mrs. Thomas has also given birth to seven children of her own, five girls and two boys, three of whom have survided into adulthood. She learned midwifery from her mother, who was also a midwife. <img src="Eucharius_Rößlin_Rosgarten_Childbirth.jpg" height="360"> You ask Mrs. Thomas what you can do to improve your chances of [[getting pregnant with a boy]]. (set: $Thomas = 1)

Dr. Matthews asks you for the day and time of your birth. He knows the day and time of Henry's birth already. He casts horoscopes for the two of you, and determines that the most propitious dates to conceive a male heir are January 28, February 3 and February 7. However, while Dr. Matthews is calculating your horoscopes, a new court physician and astrologer, Dr. Thomas Jameson, a recent graduate of the universities of Cambridge and Bologna, has also calculated the most propitious dates for you and Henry to conceive a male heir. The dates he has calculated are January 27, February 4 and February 6. Dr. Jameson approaches Henry directly with his horoscopes, and Henry finds his reasons for choosing these dates quite convincing. Henry would like to follow Dr. Jameson's advice. You insist to Henry that it best to [[follow Dr. Matthews' advice]] and have sex on the days he recommends. You acquiesce Henry's wishes and [[follow Dr. Jameson's advice]] and have sex on the days he recommends. You agree to compromise by [[having sex on all six dates]].

You have sex with Henry on the days Dr. Matthews recommends. After 3 months, you think you might be [[pregnant| pregnantMatthews]].

Mrs. Thomas tells you that you are most likely to conceive immediately after you have finished menstruating, because at this time your womb is clear of all impurities and prepared to receive seed. She further informs you that the right side of the body is hotter than the left side of the body, and boy babies, being hotter than girl babies, are generated in the right side of the womb. Immediately after sex, she advises, lie on your right side so the seed falls into the right side of your womb. This will increase your chances of conceiving a boy. You decide to [[follow Mrs. Thomas' advice]] and have sex immediately after your period and lie on your right side.

You as Mrs. Thomas what else you can do to increase your chances of having a [[boy baby]].

Dr. Matthews asks you if you are still menstruating. You tell him that [[you are still menstruating]]. You tell him that [[you have not menstruated for two months]].

You are delighted to hear that you are pregnant. But you also need to know if this baby is a boy or a girl. You ask [[Mrs. Thomas if you are pregnant with a boy]].

Congratulations! The Countess tells you that [[you are pregnant!|ALpregnant]].

The Countess tells you that you are not pregnant. Start again and seek [[advice]].

Mary tells you that you are not pregnant. Start again and seek [[advice]].

Congratulations! Mary tells you that [[you are pregnant!|ALpregnant]]

Dr. Matthews takes a drop of blood from your right arm and drops it into a container of your urine. The drop of blood [[floats]]. The drop of blood [[falls to the bottom of the vessel]].

Mrs. Thomas asks you to walk toward her. She watches you walk and notices that you take the first step with your [[right foot]]. [[left foot]].

You are relieved and happy that the baby is a boy. You start planning for a [[healthy pregnancy|won the game]].

You are dismayed to learn that the baby is a girl. You can [[go ahead]] with this pregnancy, or you can end it by using strong purgatives like rue or tansy and [[start again|advice]].

Mary tells you [[the baby is a girl]].

Mary tells you [[the baby is a boy]].

Mrs. Thomas tells you [[the baby is a boy]].

Mrs. Thomas tells you [[the baby is a girl]].

Dr. Matthews tells you that [[the baby is a boy]].

Dr. Matthews tells you that [[the baby is a girl]].

You and Henry have sex on the days Dr. Jameson recommends. Unfortunately, you soon learn that Dr. Jameson is fiercely loyal to Henry's former wife, Catherine of Aragon, and strongly supports her claim to be the rightful Queen of England. The dates he gave you were actually dates he believed were ones on which you were unlikely to conceive or likely to conceive a female. You have the satisfaction of throwing him into the dungeon of the Tower of London. But you're still not pregnant. <img src="Tower_Of_London_Traitors'_Gate_Seen_From_The_River.jpg" height="360"> You have to [[keep trying]].

This is a bad idea. All medical authorities agree that having sex too frequently diminishes your chances for conception. It renders the seed thinner and weaker and the womb too slippery to retain seed. You do not conceive. You have to [[try again]]

You go back to Dr. Matthews and he calculates three new dates for you to try to conceive. In addition, he gives you a drug to take every moring and evening that he believes will help you conceive. After 3 months, you think you might be [[pregnant| pregnantMatthews]].

Dr. Matthews and Dr. Jameson both make new calculations. Again, their dates are not the same. Again, you are inclined to believe Dr Matthews and Henry Dr Jameson. You insist to Henry that it best to [[follow Dr. Matthews' advice]] and have sex on the days he recommends. You acquiesce Henry's wishes and [[follow Dr. Jameson's advice]] and have sex on the days he recommends.

You ask [[Dr. Matthews if you are pregnant]]. (set: $positivesigns to 0) (set: $negativesigns to 0)

These women include your sister Mary Boleyn, Lady Elizabeth Darnrton, and the Countess Isabella Montmorency. They all have considerable experience with pregnancy and childbirth, and they're all very well educated and well read. They should be able to give you good advice, but your court is riven by factions and power struggles and intrigue, and [[you have to be very careful who you trust]]. (set: $AristocraticLadies = 1)

You want to know you should eat and drink to promote conception. You ask [[Lady Elizabeth]].

Lady Elizabeth tells you that cold and dry foods are best if you are trying to get pregnant because your womb is more likely to retain male seed if it is cool and dry than if it is hot and moist. She advises you to eat cooling foods like fish, cheese, lettuce and cucumbers, dry foods like beans, and to drink milk. You ask [[Lady Mary]].

Lady Mary tells you that warm, moist foods are best when you are trying to get pregnant. She advises you to eat birds like chicken, pheasant and pidgeon, and to drink moderate amounts of wine. You ask [[Countess Isabella]].

Countess Isabella says warm and moist food and drink will help you get pregnant. She gives you a recipe for duck seasoned with ginger and garlic (all hot and wet foods) that she ate when she was trying to conceive. She advises you to have Henry eat it as well, as it will promote the production of strong seed. She recommends that you both drink a glass of Italian wine with it, and makes you a present of a bottle from her own stock. After having independently consulted all three women, you decide to [[consume warm, moist foods]], or you decide to [[consume cold, dry foods]].

This is a good decision. All medical authorities agree that hot, wet foods are best for promoting conception. The body produces more and stronger seed when it is warm and moist, and the womb retains seed better. [[Ask your next question|next time]].

This is a bad decision. All medical authorities agree that hot, wet foods are best for promoting conception. The body produces more and stronger seed when it is warm and moist, and the womb retains seed better. Be more careful about whose advice you follow [[next time]]. (set: $baddecision to $baddecision + 1)

You ask [[Mrs. Thomas if you are pregnant]]. (set: $positivesigns to 0) (set: $negativesigns to 0)

Lady Elizabeth tells you that the best time to have sex is one week after you have stopped menstruating. You ask [[Lady Mary|LM1]].

Lady Mary tells you that you are most likely to conceive immediately after you stop menstruating. At this point, your womb is thoroughly cleaned of impurities and most likely to retain seed. You ask [[Countess Isabella|CI1]]

Countess Isabella tells you to have sex the day you stop menstruating. You are most likely to conceive a boy at this time. She cautions you NEVER to have sex during your menstrual period because any child conceived then would be either a monster or a leper. You decide to have sex [[right after your menses stop]]. You decide to have sex [[a week after your menses stop]].

However, it's pretty clear that you can't trust anything Lady Elizabeth says. Arrange to have her married off to a Baron with an estate in the far north of Scotland so you never have to see her again. <img src="Scottish_Bagpiper_at_Glen_Coe,_Scotland_-_Diliff.jpg" height="360"> Then, [[ask Lady Mary if you are pregnant.]] Or, [[ask Countess Isabella if you are pregnant.]]

This is a good decision. All medical authorities agree that you are most likely to conceive at this time, and if you do conceive, the baby is likely to be a boy. [[Ask your next question|NT1]].

This is a bad decision. You are less likely to conceive at this time, and if you do conceive, the baby is likely to be a girl. Be more careful about whose advice you follow [[next time|NT1]]. (set: $baddecision to $baddecision + 1)

Lady Elizabeth advises you to have sex every day. Ask [[Lady Mary|LM2]]

Lady Mary advises you to have sex about three times a week and never twice on the same day or on consecutive days. If Henry has sex that often, his seed will be weak and thin. If you have sex that often your womb will get slippery and be unable to retain seed. Ask [[Countess Isabella|CI2]]

Countess Isabella advises you to have sex about every other day. She tells you that more frequent sex will make it less likely that you will conceive. She tells you that prostitutes, who have sex multiple times every day, almost never conceive. You decide to have sex [[three days a week]] or [[every day]].

Good decision. All medical authorities agree that moderate amounts of sex are best for conception. [[Ask your next question|NT2]].

This is a bad decision. Too much sex will make Henry's seed weak and your womb unable to retain seed. Be more careful whose advice you follow [[next time|NT2]]. (set: $baddecision to $baddecision + 1)

Lady Elizabeth tells you that you are most likely to conceive a boy if you have sex on top. You ask [[Lady Mary|LM3]]

Lady Mary tells you that you are most likely to conceive if you have sex with Henry on top. You ask [[Countess Isabella|CI3]]

Countess Isabella recommends that you always be on the bottom during sex. She warns you that if you are on top you are likely to conceive a hermaphrodite. You decide to [[have sex on top]] or [[on the bottom]].

This is a bad decision. All medical authorities agree that conception is unlikely in this position, and that if you do conceive the baby is likely to be a hermaphrodite. Furthermore, most religious authorities condemn this position as unnatural and sinful. Be more careful whose advice you follow [[next time|NT3]]. (set: $baddecision to $baddecision + 1)

This is a good decision. All medical authorities agree that conception is most likely in this position. Furthermore, most religious authorities praise this as the only "natural" and non-sinful position. You follow the advice of your aristocratic friends for [[three months|NT3]].

You have failed to produce a male heir. You have lost the game and are about to lose your head. <img src="PAUL_DELAROCHE_-_Ejecución_de_Lady_Jane_Grey_(National_Gallery_de_Londres,_1834).jpg" height="360"> [[Replay?|advice]] [[More information on this game?|Credits]]

Lady Mary advises you to put a piece of garlic in your vagina before you go to bed. In the morning, [[your breath smells like garlic]]. [[your breath does not smell like garlic]].

Countess Isabella gives you a drink made with honey and anise to take before going to bed. When you wake up, [[you have sharp pains in your belly]]. [[you feel well rested and content]].

You need to know if you are pregnant with a boy or a girl. You ask [[Lady Mary if you are having a boy.]] You ask [[Countess Isabella if you are having a boy.]]

Mary tells you to place salt on your nipples and tell her what happens. [[The salt dissolves after a few minutes.]] [[The salt does not dissolve.]]

The Countess suggests that you take an egg from underneath a hen and keep it warm in your hands until it hatches. The Roman empress Livia used this method to determine the sex of her child, the future Emperor Tiberius. You hold the egg until it hatches. The chick is [[male]]. The chick is [[female]].

Countess Isabella tells you [[the baby is a boy]].

Countess Isabella tells you [[the baby is a girl]].

You give birth to a [[healthy baby girl|Lose Game]].

Mrs. Thomas points out that your imagination has a powerful influence on your future baby. She tells you a well-known story about the ancient Greek physician Hippocrates who once saved the life of a princess accused of adultery. The princess, who was white, was accused of adultery because she gave birth to a black baby, even though her husband was also white. Hippocrates argued convincingly that the baby was black because the princess had a picture of a black man in her bedroom, and she had looked at this picture at the moment of conception. Her imagination had impressed this image on her offspring. <img src="Masterpiece1704edition.jpg" height="360"> Mrs. Thomas advises that you place an image of a plump, healthy baby in a prominent place in your bedroom. While having sex with Henry, you should look at the image of the baby, and this will increase the likelihood that you will conceive and bear a plump, healthy baby boy. You decide to [[have your ceiling painted with putti (fat naked baby boys with little wings)]].

Mrs. Thomas advises you to always have sex with Henry on top so you can stare up at the cupids. She also warns you not to have sex more than three times a week, as this will decrease your chances of conceiving. Too much sex will make Henry's seed too thin for conception and your womb too slippery to retain seed. <img src="794px-Rubens,_Sir_Peter_Paul_-_Putti-_a_ceiling_decoration_-_Google_Art_Project.jpg" height="360"> After three months of having sex three times a week while staring intently at putti, you believe you might be [[pregnant|pregnantT]].

You have won the game! You have your happy ending and you keep your head attached to your neck! <img src="789px-Hans_Holbein_the_Younger_-_Edward_VI_as_a_Child_-_Google_Art_Project.jpg" height="360"> [[Replay?|advice]] [[More information on this game?|Credits]]

Dr. Matthews asks you for a sample of your urine. He holds it up to the light and he notices [[that it is cloudy throughout]]. [[that it is cloudy on top with sediment on the bottom]]. (set: $negativesigns to $negativesigns + 1)

He asks you whether your desire for sex has increased or decreased. You tell him it has [[decreased]]. You tell him it has [[increased]]. (set: $negativesigns to $negativesigns + 1)

He asks you whether your desire for sex has increased or decreased. You tell him it has [[decreased]]. You tell him it has [[increased]]. (set: $positivesigns to $positivesigns +1)

He asks if you have experienced cravings for strange foods. You tell him [[you have]]. You tell him [[your appetite has been normal]]. (set: $negativesigns to $negativesigns + 1)

He asks if you have experienced cravings for strange foods. You tell him [[you have]]. You tell him [[your appetite has been normal]]. (set: $positivesigns to $positivesigns +1)

He asks if your belly is flatter than normal. You tell him [[that it is]]. You tell him [[that it is not]]. (set: $positivesigns to $positivesigns +1)

He asks if your belly is flatter than normal. You tell him [[that it is]]. You tell him [[that it is not]]. (set: $negativesigns to $negativesigns + 1)

You eagerly await his [[diagnosis]]. (set: $positivesigns to $positivesigns +1)

You eagerly await his [[diagnosis]]. (set: $negativesigns to $negativesigns + 1)

You are delighted to hear that you are pregnant. But you also need to know if this baby is a boy or a girl. You ask [[Dr. Matthews if you are pregnant with a boy]].

Try again. seek [[advice]].

Mrs. Thomas asks you if you are still menstruating. You tell her that you [[are still menstruating]]. You tell her that you [[have not menstruated for two months]].

Mrs. Thomas asks if you have pain anywhere. You tell her you have pain [[around your kidneys]]. You tell her you have pain [[in your calves]]. (set: $negativesigns to $negativesigns + 1)

Mrs. Thomas asks if you have pain anywhere. You tell her you have pain [[around your kidneys]]. You tell her you have pain [[in your calves]]. (set: $positivesigns to $positivesigns +1)

She looks at your face and tells you it is [[redder than normal]]. [[paler than normal]]. (set: $positivesigns to $positivesigns +1)

She looks at your face and tells you it is [[redder than normal]]. [[paler than normal]]. (set: $negativesigns to $negativesigns + 1)

Mrs. Thomas aks if you have been experiencing nausea or loss of appetite. You tell her [[you have been vomiting every morning]]. You tell her [[you have been eating normally]]. (set: $positivesigns to $positivesigns +1)

Mrs. Thomas looks at your eyes and sees that they are [[more puffy than normal]]. [[more hollow than normal]]. (set: $positivesigns to $positivesigns +1)

Mrs. Thomas looks at your eyes and sees that they are [[more puffy than normal]]. [[more hollow than normal]]. (set: $negativesigns to $negativesigns + 1)

You eagerly await her [[diagnosis|diagnosisT]]. (set: $negativesigns to $negativesigns + 1)

You eagerly await her [[diagnosis|diagnosisT]]. (set: $positivesigns to $positivesigns +1)

(if: $positivesigns > 2)[Dr. Matthews tells you that you have $positivesigns out of 5 signs of pregnancy, so he believes you are [[pregnant|pregnantM]]]. (if: $negativesigns > 2)[Dr. Matthews tells you that you have $positivesigns out of 5 signs of pregnancy, so he believes you are [[not pregnant]].]

(if: $positivesigns > 2)[Mrs. Thomas tells you that you have $positivesigns out of 5 signs of pregnancy, so she believes you are [[pregnant|you are pregnant!]]]. (if: $negativesigns > 2)[Mrs. Thomas tells you that you have $positivesigns out of 5 signs of pregnancy, so she believes you are [[not pregnant]].]

Lady Mary was Henry's mistress when he was still married to Catherine of Aragon, and she had two sons with Henry. Because they are illegitimate, these boys are not heirs to the throne. <img src="Mary_Boleyn.jpg" height="360"> You believe you can trust her, because she is your sister, but there is always the possibility that [[her advice could be colored by jealousy of your marriage to her former lover]].

Lady Elizabeth is the young widow of a childhood friend of King Henry, Lord William Darnton. <img src="800px-Hans_Holbein_the_Younger_-_Jane_Seymour,_Queen_of_England_-_Google_Art_Project.jpg" height="360"> She has three young children, two daughters and a son, so you know she has experience with conception and pregnancy. She came to court after your marriage to Henry, so you don't have reason to think she has any loyalty to the old queen Catherine of Aragon. However, she is quite young and very beautiful, and you yourself came to court as one of Catherine's ladies-in-waiting, so [[you're not entirely convinced that she doesn't have designs on your husband]].

Countess Isabella is the wife Count Francis Montmorency, Henry's ambassador to Venice. <img src="Bronzino_-_Eleonora_di_Toledo_col_figlio_Giovanni_-_Google_Art_Project.jpg" height="360"> She has been pregnant fifteen times and has eight living children, so you know she has considerable knowledge of conception, pregnancy, childbirth, and child care. She is now 60 and married, so you are sure she has no plans to seduce the king. However, she is Italian by birth and a devout Catholic. You believe she is loyal to the king and to England, but you worry that she might like to see Henry dispose of you and return England to Catholicism. [[You resolve to talk to each of them privately and double check the advice you get from each.]] (set: $baddecision to 0)

The next question you ask is: what time of the month am I most likely to conceive and to conceive a boy? You ask [[Lady Elizabeth|LE1]].

(if: $baddecision > 1)[You have now made two decisions that will significantly decrease your chances of being able to conceive a male heir. Start again and seek different [[advice]].] (elseif: $baddecision < 1)[The next question you as is: how often should you have sex? Ask [[Lady Elizabeth|LE2]].] (elseif: $baddecision is 1)[The next question you as is: how often should you have sex? Ask [[Lady Elizabeth|LE2]].]

(if: $baddecision > 1)[You have now made two decisions that will significantly decrease your chances of being able to conceive a male heir. You need to seek different [[advice]].] (elseif: $baddecision < 1)[The next question you as is: what is the best sexual position to increase your chances of conception? You ask [[Lady Elizabeth|LE3]].] (elseif: $baddecision is 1)[The next question you as is: what is the best sexual position to increase your chances of conception? You ask [[Lady Elizabeth|LE3]].]

(if: $baddecision > 1)[You have now made two decisions that will significantly decrease your chances of being able to conceive a male heir. You need to seek different [[advice]].] (if: $baddecision is 1)[After three months of following the advice of your aristocratic friends, you believe that you are [[pregnant|pregnantA]].] (if: $baddecision is 0)[After three months of following the advice of your aristocratic friends, you believe that you are [[pregnant|pregnantA]].]

CREDITS: Game created by Kathleen Crowther. COPYRIGHT: <a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/4.0/"><img alt="Creative Commons License" style="border-width:0" src="https://i.creativecommons.org/l/by-nc-sa/4.0/88x31.png" /></a><br />This work is licensed under a <a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/4.0/">Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License</a>. CITATIONS: All images from Wikimedia Commons.